Sunday Serenity: My Unsolicited Advice To A Stranger


As some of you might know, I spend a lot of time on the trains here in Chicago.  To me, trains are much more than a means of transportation.  Sometimes I am humbled by the acts of kindness I witness; other times I am saddened by seeing homeless people riding the trains from one end to the other for warmth and some semblance of protection.

However, on the train a few days ago, I was downright angry.  I’ll set the scene for you.  I was coming home from work a wee bit late; there were only a few people in my train car.  Quite unusual not to have elbow-to-elbow seating.

A young man, perhaps in his early twenties, was speaking very loudly on his cell phone (what a surprise!).  I was just about to put on my headphones and listen to some nice, instrumental music to drown out his nonsense, when what he said next made me cringe in my seat.

Here is a summary of what I heard (and believe me, anyone who talks on their phone in a public place so the entire universe can hear what they are saying does not get my vote for maintaining any confidentiality).

This young man told the person on the other end of this disastrous phone call that she has a sense of entitlement which she ‘clearly’ shouldn’t have; after all, she isn’t his girlfriend.  He was, in fact, dating other women.  He went on to say that having a relationship is only going to bring, “emotional liability”.  What the hell does that mean, I thought to myself.  He told her that ‘if’ he came over to hers this weekend they would definitely have to discuss the future of their ‘situation’.  Discuss? What’s to discuss, I thought.  I think you’ve pretty much shared your ‘concerns’ right here on the Red Line of the good ‘ol Chicago Transit Authority in front of yours truly, and a few sprinklings of other passengers (engaged in their candy crush games or whatever the latest and greatest phone numbing activity is at the moment).


I want to provide this young man with some advice that I am quite certain he would not understand; nonetheless, here it is:

  1. Your treatment of this young lady was appalling.  You in no way shape or form deserve to have ANYONE as either a friend or a partner in the emotional and mental state you currently find yourself in.
  2. The words you spoke were not only the epitome of arrogance, but they were mean-spirited.  Clearly you do not understand what it means to be empathetic.
  3. Your phrase regarding, “emotional liability” tells me you are more interested in having a transactional relationship as opposed to one based on love, caring, kindness, and giving.  I suggest you might want to perhaps invest in an automated banking machine; this will give you lots of transactions to cozy up to on a cold Chicago night.
  4. Your tone, your words, and your selfishness speak not one single syllable about the young lady you were talking to; this is entirely your ball of rudeness.  You are projecting your own lack of self-worth onto this other person (and no doubt, everyone you encounter).  It speaks volumes about who you are, no one else.
  5. I strongly encourage you to seek counselling.  You are an emotional wreck.  No one, and I mean NO ONE ever, ever speaks to anyone (or treats anyone like this) unless there is a huge cesspool of issues going on inside your head.
  6. I wish you well; I really mean it.  Your going to end up as a lonely old man if you don’t get to what is happening within you now that has made you so incredibly nasty.

Oh, and to the young lady on the other end of this callous convo:  my dear girl, you too need counselling but for an entirely different reason.  To put up with this young man’s abuse speaks volumes about your sense of self-worth; meaning, you don’t have any.  You are probably a lovely young woman who is flattered by this guy’s attention and don’t think you can do any better.  Trust me, this guy is at the shallow end of the dating pool.  You deserve the deep end, my dear.  Please work on your own self-esteem; and then, and ONLY then will you find that a lovely young man will appear who treats you with dignity, respect, thoughtfulness and love.  I wish you well.


  30 comments for “Sunday Serenity: My Unsolicited Advice To A Stranger

  1. December 4, 2016 at 11:32 am

    Emotional liability – what the heck is that? Sounds like he is doing a spreadsheet with plusses and minuses. I hope the woman on the other end of the phone has enough self-respect to say this guy is a total pompous ass, who is not worthy of my time. But I suspect, from what you have said, and the fact that she didn’t hang-up on him during this conversation, that she does not have the self-esteem to just completely remove him from her mind and her life. I agree, I hope he grows old and lonely, eating porridge by candlelight, with no one to share his life (like Scrooge).

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 4, 2016 at 12:30 pm

      I do hope he gets counseling; I really hope she does, too! I felt bad for her that she chose to keep listening to this guy. Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

  2. December 4, 2016 at 11:50 am

    Wow, what a major jerk!! Totally agree he needs professional help. Needs to batter others to make himself feel good. Sicko!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 4, 2016 at 12:34 pm

      Yes, I believe he really does, John. Only someone with an extremely disjointed mindset would ever speak like this. And his tone; oh my goodness. I looked over at him several times; he gave me the dirtiest look which actually made me smile because he looked so utterly ridiculous! Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

  3. December 4, 2016 at 12:21 pm

    I’m afraid that’s the kind of young’uns our generation has produced. It’s sad, also that the kid thought the train was his phone booth. Geez, kid, wait until you get home to chew out your not-my-girlfriend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 4, 2016 at 12:35 pm

      Oh yes, so much wrong with the entire situation, John. But the fact that he would even say this to anyone is awful in and of itself. To share it with, well, me et al. who would have preferred to ride in silence is beyond me. Cher xo


  4. December 4, 2016 at 1:42 pm

    Well roared Cher, you should print your post out and hang it up in the train, he needs to read this!

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 4, 2016 at 1:47 pm

      Why thank you, Irene! I think that perhaps there might be more than one who needs to pay attention to it! *LOL* Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

      • December 4, 2016 at 1:57 pm

        You are right, but you need to start somewhere, maybe the young women come there too 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • December 4, 2016 at 1:58 pm

        Oh yes, quite right, Irene!! Cher xo

        Liked by 1 person

  5. December 4, 2016 at 2:51 pm

    We should always apply the Golden Rule: Treat others how you wish to me to treated.
    Big hugs, dear Cher, you are a shining example of the Golden Rule. 🙂
    Hope the week ahead treats you kindly, dear one. Moe and more and more hugs xoxox

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 4, 2016 at 4:27 pm

      Ah, huge blessings to you my dear Donna! Thank you so much for your extremely thoughtful and kind words. I must say, “Right back at you!” And to you as well; thank you my dear! Continued hugs from the south to the GWN!! Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

  6. December 5, 2016 at 12:28 am

    Love the post. And wonder who this young man’s role model is / was and whether parents set foundation.

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 5, 2016 at 6:49 am

      Ah, thank you so much, David! I was thinking the same thing as I listened to his demeaning words. Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

  7. December 5, 2016 at 8:34 am

    Well said, Cher.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. December 5, 2016 at 5:22 pm

    Go Girl!
    and now… how about that cuppa?
    perhaps a cookie too 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 5, 2016 at 7:27 pm

      Oy dearie! Right here and a few cookies on the plate! Cher xo


  9. December 5, 2016 at 7:56 pm

    I agree. Its so important to teach other people how to treat you.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. February 19, 2017 at 9:45 am

    What a total idiot!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. February 19, 2017 at 2:25 pm

    Ugh! People like him hurt my brain (and my heart)! I hope the young lady hears your wise words through the ether, and decides to swim in the deep end like she deserves!

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 19, 2017 at 5:16 pm

      Agreed, Traci! It was extremely difficult to hold back and not grab the phone out of his hand! I’d love to have said, “Dear, you can do sooooooooooooooo much better than this knit wit, believe me!” *LOL* I hope she hears it too! Thank you, Traci! Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

  12. josypheen
    April 16, 2017 at 3:47 pm

    Oh goodness he sounds like a total knobhead! Poo poor girl!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 16, 2017 at 3:50 pm

      Hi Josy! Oh he certainly was just that! He seemed like such an angry young man. I wanted to literally reach through the phone and tell that girl to get away as fast as she can!! 😉 Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

      • josypheen
        April 16, 2017 at 4:08 pm

        You probably did the right thing by blogging, rather than speaking to him. He wouldn’t understand if you tried to explain how rude he sounded…

        Liked by 1 person

      • April 16, 2017 at 4:12 pm

        Oh yes, I quite agree, Josy. I think he would have given me a slew of his ‘thoughts’! *LOL*

        Liked by 1 person

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